I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
