i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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