we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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