In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
