I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
