she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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