so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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