I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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