my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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