Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
