That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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