you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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