FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
