So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
