We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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