if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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