I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Such a big mess for such a small penis
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
