New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Randomize
