I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
