Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
