You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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