Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize