Yo dont text me then not text me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
