I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
