I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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