yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize