I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
