Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
