Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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