when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I forget how to act sober
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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