Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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