Dual....:-)
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
