He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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