This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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