I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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