in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
