New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you inspire me to be a worse person
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
