i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
