You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
