Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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