I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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