He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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