You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
