I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
