We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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