WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
