Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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