he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
