Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
pray to the hookup gods
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