i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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