it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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