i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
