The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
