Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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