have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
