just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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