Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
