And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
