just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
