She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is the high leading the old right now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
