I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
