your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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