I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
