i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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