google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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