I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am puke
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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