no, he came in my armpit
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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