I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
